You and Your Adult Child: How to Grow Together in Challenging Times: How to Grow Together in Challenging Times by Laurence Steinberg

Author:Laurence Steinberg
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2023-04-18T00:00:00+00:00

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When you first broach the subject of your financial future, your child may wonder whether they’ll inherit anything from you, and, if so, what their inheritance will be. If it’s the first time they’ve asked about it, you should answer this question honestly, but in general terms (“I think so,” “Probably not,” or “I don’t know yet”). Tell your child you’d like to have a separate conversation about the specifics after you’ve come up with a plan. You may be reluctant to talk about this, but it’s essential your child knows what they can expect when you pass on, so they can make short- and long-term plans that take into account what they may, or may not, inherit, including valuables and real estate as well as money. If you have more than one child, all of them need to know what they can expect to inherit.

We’ve all seen movies and TV shows about conflicts that erupt within ultra-wealthy families over inheritance, but discussing inheritances in detail can raise sensitive and emotional issues regardless of how wealthy you are, especially if you have multiple heirs. Even families who don’t have a lot of money to pass on often have prized possessions that have financial or sentimental value, like jewelry or heirlooms. You may have to decide what your plans are for your house—whether to pass it on to one or more heirs or sell it and divide up the profits. You don’t need to own a mansion to worry about how your child will feel about your plans to sell a house they’re attached to.

If you haven’t yet given it a lot of thought, now is a good time to make some preliminary decisions about how you will divide up any assets you plan on passing on to your child and any other potential beneficiaries. You may already have a will drawn up, but if it was written many years ago, it may need to be updated to take into account any changes in your family life or your estate since the will was last revised. If you have a sizable or complicated estate, you should seek the advice of one or more experts.

Once you’ve made up your mind, it’s best to discuss the inheritance with your family in two installments: one in which you describe a preliminary plan and explain the reasoning behind it, and a second in which you present a final plan after you’ve had a chance to think about any fresh issues that arose during the first conversation. You may learn during the first conversation that your child cares less about certain valuables than you had assumed, or that they and their siblings have already had their own talk about the inheritance and have come to an agreement about how various components of your estate should be divided among them. There’s no point in obsessing about which child should inherit a piece of real estate when they and their siblings have already agreed to sell the property and divide the proceeds equally.

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